Being Single Is the Default
Thinking that love can be found externally is a sign of a broken culture
Amatonormativity: the widespread assumption that everyone is better off in an exclusive, romantic, long-term coupled relationship, and that everyone is seeking such a relationship.
I am many things, and perennially single is one of them. In my 15 or so “eligible” dating years, I have never once been in a long-term relationship. That’s right. Six weeks. Six weeks. Six weeks is usually about how long it lasts.
New Year’s rings in with kisses on the cheek. Valentine’s Day is spent drinking straight from the bottle with whatever sad excuse for a romantic film is playing that year. Dinner parties are exercises in quelling my jealousy over cuddling couples contributing one dish between the two of them—because, wait, I’m going to bed alone and I have to pay double on party expenses? Cool. Cool cool cool.
I show up to holidays and parties solo, feeling more or less fine about my status until it is brought to my attention that something is wrong. “Are you becoming a nun?” family members ask. “Don’t you get lonely?” friends inquire. I understand they’re not trying to make me feel bad, but what they don’t realize is that they force me to lie because social gatherings aren’t the place to fall to my knees crying…
